The Legend of the Phoenix: The phoenix is one of the most legendary creatures in ancient mythology, associated with rebirth, immortality and the sun itself. Although the earliest stories of the phoenix were of Egyptian origin, there are also depictions in Arabic, Greek, Roman and even Chinese legends. In every variation, the Phoenix rises from the ashes of its predecessor, or its prior self. The bird lives nearly 500 years! When she feels her death is near, she builds a nest for herself, bursts into flames and a younger, stronger phoenix emerges from the ashes. In Egyptian mythology, she embalms the ashes in an egg of myrrh, flies to Heliopolis and places the egg at the Altar of the Sun.

The phoenix is a powerful symbol of rebirth and resurrection. She represents the idea that the end is only the beginning. But she must first burn… in order to emerge renewed.

It Must First Burn in Order to Emerge: That story reminds me of the day my house burned down. I’ll spare you the dramatic details, but it basically left me standing outside, barefoot in the middle of the night; freezing rain, sleet and snow, watching my first house burn to the ground while the lights and sirens blared around me. I was 25 years old. I bought that house all by myself at the age of 23. I remember thinking in that moment: What’s next? What will I actually DO next? At the time, I had quit my job in Louisville just 2 days earlier and accepted a job in Nashville. Obviously, that wasn’t going to pan out. So now I’m homeless, jobless and “stuff”less…

I can honestly say it was one of the most liberating experiences of my life. I thought about it, prayed about it, talked with my pastor about it. I couldn’t identify a single negative aspect of my situation aside from losing some family heirlooms. I just… moved on. For the first time in my life, I had no routine and no expectations. I could build any life that I wanted. I could be whoever and whatever I wanted. This was my chance to emerge from the ashes and be something stronger than I was before.

When I describe the fire now, I typically tell people that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Pre-fire Jenny was self-centered, full of rage, judgmental, hateful at times, extremely materialistic. Post-fire Jenny would prefer to live on a boat or in an airstream with minimal belongings and nothing but freedom to travel the world. She is interested in who you are, where you came from and how you feel. She cares about people, animals, the Earth… All of the things she never cared about before. She is a better human because of the fire that took everything away and forced her to start over. And to this day, I remember God whispering in my ear that night: “You’re better than this. Here is your chance to be who you were made to be”.

Now It’s Time to Burn Again: I’ve been in a funk for a few months now, maybe longer. Trying to figure out what I’m doing with my life. What is the next step? Am I learning anything new? My greatest fear is to stop learning and stop growing. To fall into an meaningless cycle of same-old-same-old. I am successful in a basic routine of when to eat, sleep, work, exercise, etc, but I absolutely LOATHE it. I despise the idea of looking back on my life and regretting the things I never did. The chances I never took. The places I never traveled. After all, what good is life if you can’t spend it learning from others?

A very dear friend of mine has engaged me in this conversation on multiple occasions. Always asking thoughtful questions: Well, what would you do differently? What did you do today that you want to do more of? How does that make you feel? What are you thinking? Have you written about it? Write it down and get it out of your head. That will help you. And whatever you do, KEEP CREATING YOUR ART.

He always says that. Create your art. Finish your work. Publish it. Post it. Put it out there for the world to see. Don’t back down from who you are. Why do you stay where you are if it’s not where you want to be?? Rise, Phoenix..RIIISE!…

So I’ve started writing again. Painting again. Playing music. Skating. I bought myself a new set of ice skates for Christmas. I lost my last pair in the fire…. in 2006. Same thing with my keyboard. I lost that in 2006. And my drumset. For some reason, I never replaced those things. And although I feel like I accomplished great things after emerging from that fire, I can also see that I’ve not been entirely true to myself in the process. (It could be the 5 fiancees that were distracting me, but that’s another story)… The truth is that I spent most of those years building a career and developing my “business” self, but forgot about the hippie child that lives inside.

Rise Phoenix, Rise!: As I continue on my journey to resurrect my authentic self, I am reminded of my frequent conversations with him. There is nothing more frustrating than being stuck where you are, and staying there, because you are afraid to make any changes or to rock the boat. “The Obstacle is the Way”, he says. (he might be the only real stoic that I know).

So now what? I’m looking at the obstacles that are standing in the way of being authentically myself, and therefore being truly happy. Instead of giving in to those obstacles, I am going to use their power as my own. Every obstacle is an opportunity to grow. It’s just a matter of perspective. When my house burned down, I could’ve accepted defeat but instead I chose to count my blessings – I survived. My dog survived. I learned so much from it, and I grew. The obstacles I am facing now are very different from those in 2006. But they exist. They are real and they are the perfect anecdote to the stalemate that I feel right now.

If you find yourself standing in front of an obstacle and your first instinct is to consider it an impasse, I urge to to think again. Your perspective can be a powerful thing if you use it for the greater good. There is nothing more gratifying than turning what seems to be a dire situation into one of the greatest triumphs of your life. Just like the phoenix who knows the end is near. So she builds her nest, bursts into flames and emerges stronger than she was before.

RISE PHOENIX, RISE! ❤