Failure is a word that we seldom want to think about, much less use. We associate it with negative thoughts and emotions. We consider it to be proof of our incompetence or ignorance. We allow it hold us back and hold us down.

FEAR of failure is even worse than the failure itself. It is the reason for so many shattered dreams and missed opportunities. We allow our fear of failing to keep us from doing great things. We avoid taking that leap of faith, going after that new job, moving to a new town, trying a new class at the gym and on and on… But why?

WHY is failure so scary?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and there are so many reasons. We don’t want to feel the shame of not reaching our goals. We don’t want our friends, family, spouse, etc. to be disappointed in us. We don’t want to let our boss down. We don’t want to be judged. The “reasons” go on and on, but at some point you have to stop and realize that maybe, just maybe… they are EXCUSES and not really REASONS. Excuses to maintain the status quo and not put ourselves out on the line for everyone to see.

Regardless of the semantics behind it, fear of failure is a real thing that requires some thought, planning and introspection to overcome.

The Positive Side of Failure

Take a minute to think about all the positive things that could come from failure.

LEARNING. You can always learn from failure. Somewhere along the way, something happened to make you unsuccessful at whatever you were trying to accomplish. If you can identify what that thing was, you can learn from it and not repeat the same mistake.

EVALUATION. After you figure out what the mistake was, you can evaluate your process and make it better. When you fail, you should go back and change the plan. Not necessarily the goal. Your plan should be constantly evolving into something more efficient.

CONTROL. Each successive failure that I’ve experienced has taught me more about how to control my emotions. I am passionate, headstrong and spirited. I feel every emotion like a raging storm. But in the real world, you have to learn to control those emotions. Every failure has taught me patience and self-control. I’m still not a master at it, but I am getting better each time!

INSPIRATION. Failure often causes us to look to others for inspiration and courage. You can examine what others before you have done in the same situation. You learn that other people have faced the same circumstances and even worse ones. You can find mentors and friends through this process. Search long enough for inspiration and you might just find your muse.

COMMUNITY. In the process of mourning our failures, we often reach out to others. We go to church or other religious gatherings. We go to the gym or to a community center. We reach out through social media. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to help an individual when times are tough.

ENLIGHTENMENT. This one is by far my favorite. I learned this one the hard way when my house burned down. You lose a piece of your ego when you fail. Your precious, perfectly obnoxious, HUGE ego… A piece of it is shattered every time you experience failure. And when that happens, you start to recognize patterns and habits in your life that are detrimental at best. Toxic at worst. This is your opportunity to change them for the better.

Overcoming Your Fear

The time is now. The time is now to take control of your own destiny. It’s time to overcome those doubts and fears in your head. Try that new class, or move to that new town. Go after that new job. What’s the worst that could happen?

At the gym? I promise no one is looking at you. All the people at the gym who look like they “know what they’re doing”. Yeah, those people who you think will judge you. They likely fall into one of two categories:

1. They DO know what they’re doing, and are therefore doing it (and looking at themselves in the mirror), not paying one bit of attention to you.
2. They DON’T know what they’re doing. They’re just like you – brand new and trying to figure it out, hoping no one notices.

Move to a new city? This is one of my favorite things to do in life! New city, new life, new people, new places to explore. Worst-case scenario is that you end up not making friends or not really enjoying the area, so you move back to where you came from. But you will have learned a lot because of it!

Apply for that new job or promotion. I mean, seriously. There’s not much to lose here. You could be completely selling yourself short by not going after it. Employers, more often than not, want their people to take initiative and be ambitious. And if they don’t, then you probably don’t want to work for them anyway. So what have you got to lose?

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.

It took me many years and many failures to find humility. It took me even longer to find the strength in myself to keep pushing forward in the face of opposition. But I’m here now, doing things I’ve always wanted to do, because I overcame my fear of failure.

I lead a team of incredible people. I travel all over the world. I speak my truth with passion. I play music for anyone who will listen. I write for anyone who will read it. And I take comfort in knowing that it’s okay to fail. Because failure is what makes us stronger.

I hope you find the strength to overcome yours!

Blessings and love.

JB ❤